An Exclusive Investigation by a Guy Who Knows a Guy Who Once Changed Tires for Puddle of Mudd
For years, NASCAR fans have asked the question: What makes Joey Logano tick? Some say it’s raw talent. Others credit his early start in racing. But after an exhaustive 72-hour dive into blurry photos, vague Instagram stories, and one very out-of-context podcast clip, we believe we’ve cracked the code:
Joey Logano may, in fact, be the long-lost fifth member of post-grunge rock band Creed.
Let’s examine the evidence.
The Voice Within
In a 2020 garage interview, Logano was asked what he listens to to get “in the zone” before a race. His response?
“I like a little bit of old-school rock… stuff with soul.”
He didn’t say Creed.
He didn’t not say Creed.
But it gets deeper. During a rain delay at Richmond in 2021, Logano was caught on camera mouthing lyrics that, when slowed down and enhanced using software we don’t actually have, appear to be:
“Can you take me higher…?”
Officials said he was just “chewing gum.”
We say: Open your eyes, sheeple.
The Alleged Florida Connection
Creed famously formed in Tallahassee, Florida in the mid-90s. Logano was born in Connecticut — but briefly lived in Georgia. Which borders Florida.
Coincidence?
Let’s go further: In 2009, Logano made his NASCAR Cup debut. That same year, Creed released Full Circle — their first album in nearly a decade.
This timing is either a) totally unrelated, or b) a coordinated PR stunt involving guitars, Goodyears, and Scott Stapp’s flowing locks.
We reached out to Scott Stapp for comment. He did not respond. Which is suspicious.
Lyric Clues in Plain Sight?
Let’s examine Creed lyrics and NASCAR performance:
- “What if, what if, what if I…” — What if Logano had a secret double life?
- “My sacrifice.” — A reference to letting a stage win go to save fuel?
- “With arms wide open.” — The way Logano celebrates in Victory Lane.
Are these songs, or coded transmissions from the 22 pit box?
The Logano-Creed Theory, Summarized:
- Mysterious pre-race music choices
- Geographic proximity to Florida… adjacent states!
- Career milestones eerily aligned with Creed’s discography
- At least one photo of Logano wearing jeans that look very “2001 rock tour bus”
We’re not saying Joey Logano is a member of Creed.
We’re just asking questions.
Satire from NASCARGASM.COM
Greg is the author of "The Nuts and Bolts of NASCAR: The Definitive Viewers' Guide to Big-Time Stock Car Auto Racing" and has been published in major publications across the country including the Los Angeles Times, the Cleveland Plain Dealer and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He was also a contributor to Chicken Soup for the NASCAR Soul, published in 2010, and the Christmas edition in 2016. He wrote as the NASCAR, Formula 1, Auto Reviews and National Veterans Affairs Examiner for Examiner.com and has appeared on Fox News. He holds a BS degree in communications, a Masters degree in psychology and is currently a PhD candidate majoring in psychology. He is currently the weekend Motorsports Editor for Autoweek.